Life and all of it’s unfolding stories externally and internally feel like a pendulum, swinging us between emotions.
On one side, there’s fear, anger, resentment, and judgment. On the other, moments of happiness and peace. External influences—like a conversation, a change in focus, or watching the news—can trigger shifts that swing us between these extremes.
For years, I found myself captivated by this idea, striving to center myself in the middle. After all, who wants to stay on the negative side of the swing?
Back then, I was deep into the teachings of Abraham Hicks, finding gratitude a powerful tool to move up the scale of consciousness. Gratitude brought me peace, but over time, I saw that although it was elevating, it was a go to instead of a final solution; what I felt grateful for in one mindset might shift in another. Each step of gratitude moved me into new frequencies, often landing me in acceptance. But even with gratitude, the pendulum continued to swing.
In 2005, reading David Hawkins' Power vs. Force profoundly shifted my perspective. Hawkins describes a scale of consciousness, with each state—guilt, anger, pride, acceptance, love, grace—resonating at a distinct frequency. The realization struck me: the energy behind my teachings and even my certifications was defensive. I’d been framing everything in a way to validate and protect my work. When I muscle-tested the consciousness of my course materials, they aligned with fear. Instantly, I understood why. Driven by the fear of being challenged, I’d created from a defensive position.
That revelation led me to let go. I cleared the slate and began afresh, testing each step to see if it resonated from a place beyond the lower frequency levels on the Hawkins scale. I realized that, much like a page can carry a heavy energy, so too can we carry inner definitions—positionalities—that pull us off center. These inner stances activate memories, emotions, and beliefs that keep us stuck in cycles of suffering.
For the last two decades, I practiced moving up the consciousness scale, working to lessen the pendulum’s swings. My sense of spiritual progress felt anchored in keeping things calm and centered. But in 2020, psilocybin journeys revealed even more layers. I witnessed how my emotions shaped the environment around me. These journeys brought clarity, dissolving defenses and revealing truths I hadn’t seen. I spent countless hours exploring interdimensional perspectives, and every time, waking up the next day with a completely new outlook.
Yet, positionalities remained—some dissolved, but others transformed, carrying different shapes and textures. The swings persisted, though they became softer. Through gratitude, nature, music, or conversation, I could pull myself back to center more readily. Yet, I came to understand that all these practices were still external shifts. I was navigating positionalities rather than fully transcending them.
The shift I longed for came in the realization of nothingness, a “nothing nobody” state. When I released my definitions, I moved beyond time-bound positionalities and into my essence. This state allows me to erase positionality entirely—its frequencies, beliefs, memories—leaving space for a new grace to emerge. Forgiveness, in this space, means clearing the slate, opening to fresh, unbound awareness. Each act of forgiveness reprograms my responses, replacing reaction with stillness, grace, and power.
Imagine facing a troubling forecast, one that triggers worry. Rather than fueling that prediction with fear, forgiveness allows us to shift its vibrational imprint. We stop attracting; we start creating. By forgiving the positionality tied to fear, we counterbalance frequencies that otherwise sustain negative projections. Hawkins said that one person in grace can counterbalance the negativity of millions, highlighting the immense reach of forgiveness.
In that state of grace, when you contemplate whatever it is that was creating fear, you are now sending frequencies of grace to that person, place, or event.
The next step is consistently choosing this non-positional state. We observe life without attaching definitions or stories, and even brief moments in grace send waves of healing frequency into the world. Every grace-filled thought, every act of forgiveness, brings healing to our field and to the collective.
Each time we re-center, and forgive in the nothing-nobody, we replace reactive energies with grace, touching millions we most likely will never meet.
Through this practice, I’ve found myself less swayed by the pendulum of emotion and more anchored in the now. Here, we witness the endless programming in our lives, the externally imposed definitions. Yet, we realize our capacity to shift these narratives. We program our cells, our actions, and even the small acts of daily life, like making dinner or answering an email, with frequencies of grace.
Each of us holds the power to choose our attention and where we place our focus. Practicing this allows us to transcend the programming, moving from reaction to creation.
As we do, we’re not only elevating our own experience but also imprinting grace into the realm we share, a vibrational and frequency offering that transforms not only our lives but the world around us.
Join the Essence Life Community
Whether you’re just starting or have been on a spiritual path for years, this practice is accessible to everyone. It’s an opportunity to let go of the old stories, embrace your true Essence, and step into the vastness of who you really are.
Beyond the Pendulum: Transcending Emotional Swings to Find True Stillness