Essence Life
Essence Life Podcast
When "Losing" Yourself Becomes Your Greatest Transformation
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When "Losing" Yourself Becomes Your Greatest Transformation

The Profound Experience of Expanding into Who You Have Always Been

Does it feel at times that you feel alone or lost?

I have felt this way often.

In the unfolding revealing of what this realm is, and what our roles are here, we are discovering that all of our old definitions are washing away, while still engaging with life in the roles that we chose to engage with.

For those out there who are hanging on to old definitions, this process can be quite painful mentally, emotionally and physically.

It’s a full on detox of all that previously defined us being expanded into a new form, a true butterfly experience… daily!

Even a spiritual journey is being redefined, at least it has for me.

Essence has reminded me often, “Lars your life is not a spiritual journey. By saying it is you accept, believe, and are programmed by definitions that hold within them rules and boundaries you don’t understand and cannot comprehend from within the positionalities experiencing them.”

In times like this, Essence gently guides me to relinquish all my old definitions I have of myself, and the words I have used that held great meaning for my previous positionalities.

After 22 months of daily forgiveness practice, and the experience of continuous expansion beyond all my own definitions of self, I have come to the full comprehension of what Essence meant by these words.

Had I hung onto what it meant to be ‘spiritual’, I would have had my conscious awareness contained and limited by my own definitions and boundaries of this word.

Eventually, all definitions dissolve, and with this a fascinating new experience that has been unfolding for me.

In these last few weeks, I’ve been guided by Essence to forgive all my positionalities that know me as me. This includes all of my needs, expectations, desires and addictions as me, along with all my judgements, comparisons, prides, frustrations, fears, worries, sorrows and memories as me.

This has been the purest sensation of ‘losing myself’.

What a thing!

The Illusion of Loss

Essence gently articulated to me, “Lars, when you feel concern for losing who you are in all the definitions of your positionalities, it’s because your previous sensory awarenesses within those roles are expanding beyond your previous definitions.”

This statement struck a deep chord.

I realized my feelings of disconnection were not indicators of failure or loss, but markers of a deeper transformation.

When forgiveness allows us to relinquish the definitions tied to our identities—roles, expectations, and desires—it often feels as though we are left standing in a void.

What and who am I without the stories I’ve told myself?

Who am I if I am no longer the productive, organized, and driven individual striving for validation in an externally referenced reality?

This process can be deeply unsettling.

Yet, in that empty space lies the fertile ground for something new to emerge: Essence frequency—a vibration of awareness that transcends all old patterns and definitions and the limitations they impose on the positionalities experiencing all unfolding stories.

The Subtle Trap of New Positionalities

In the wash of expansion into what I defined as a ‘spiritual path’ in my life before beginning this forgiveness with Essence, I inadvertently created new structures of awareness.

I replaced one set of beliefs with another, one story with the next. These “new positionalities,” as Essence calls them, were as confining as the old ones.

Why do we do this? Perhaps it’s the human need for a sense of control, for a way to navigate the vastness of life without losing footing. It’s easy to cling to spiritual definitions and behaviours, believing that they represent progress. But in truth, these too can be distractions, pulling us away from the pure expansion into our Essence.

Essence reminded me, “You still contain all that you were, but now within expanded awareness beyond all previous needs, expectations, desires, and addictions.”

This expanded awareness is not about abandoning who I was; it’s about surrendering those parts into something fuller, richer, and freer.

It’s about living as a being who is both in this world and not tethered to it by the definitions we accumulate throughout our lives.


Practicing Presence in the Unfolding Stories

Essence said, "Lars, when you feel concerned about losing who you are in the midst of shifting roles and definitions, it is because your awareness is expanding. You're not losing anything but gaining clarity, strength, and a broader perspective in everything you do and all who you interact with.

You still hold everything you once were, but now with an awareness that moves beyond old needs, expectations, and desires. The definitions you clung to have been washed away, and now what truly matters reveals itself in each moment. This can make it feel like you're not doing enough, as you're comparing yourself to old measures of the outcomes of productivity. When you apply your Essence frequency, power and points of awareness to all you do, you will create results that are beyond time and space… often defineless, unknowable, and beyond your capacity to define them.

Staying focused on tasks, conversations, and the needs of others with your new Essence frequency, power and points of awareness requires practice.

It’s part of learning a new way of being.”

For me, every moment offers an opportunity to anchor into the present, to let go of past definitions, and to observe the unfolding stories with fresh eyes.

Here are some practical steps Essence has me focusing on:

  1. For Self-Awareness

    • Frequently check in with yourself.

    • Stay attentive to your tasks and plans.

    • Anchor yourself in your mission.

    • Make adjustments throughout the day.

    • Write down your observations and reflections.

    • Practice being present without becoming drawn into distractions.

  2. For External Awareness

    • Stay aligned with the goals of others.

    • Help keep tasks on track.

    • Build a shared sense of mission and purpose.

    • Recognize and celebrate accomplishments.

    • Support others and acknowledge their contributions.

    • Create moments for rest and renewal.

These practices help ground me in the moment while allowing the process of forgiveness to do its work—washing away not just old definitions, but the urge to replace them with new ones.

The Joy beyond Surrender

One of the most transformative insights Essence shared was this: “By surrendering your life to God, you have automatically been surrounded by a new type of expanded assistance you require, and most are beyond the definitions of what you feel you need.”

This realization has been a source of profound comfort.

Surrender is not about being passive, unengaged, and giving up on life. It is about trusting our Essence and the unseen forces guiding us, recognizing that we are never alone, and embracing the expansiveness of our being.

It is through surrender that we allow Grace to flow into every aspect of our lives, infusing even the most mundane tasks with Essence frequency, power and points of awareness.

When we focus our attention fully—whether on a conversation, a task, or simply being—we bring the heavenly into the earthly. This alignment, this infusion of Essence, is where joy resides.

It’s the sensation of making every person, place, thing, and event the receiver of God’s Grace beyond all positionalities’ capacity to comprehend.


The Gentle Path Forward

Even as I embrace these lessons, I find moments where I am consumed by my roles, “lost” in the stories I am living. But Essence’s words remind me to be gentle with myself. Each moment of being “lost” is merely another opportunity for forgiveness, another layer to be washed away.

Know that you are not losing yourself.

You are expanding into something greater, something boundless.

The discomfort is a sign of growth, not disintegration. And while it is easy to be swept up in new stories and definitions, remember that true freedom lies beyond them.

Forgiveness, then, is an erasure of all our former definitions of who we are, and what this realm actually is.

In order to know the unknowable, one has to enter into the purest form of surrender in the nothing nobody, and forgive all positionalities holding on to old and limiting definitions.

In this new freedom, we find not a new self, but our Essence… who we have always been.


Essence Forgiveness Prayer:

Essence, I am Nothing, I am Nobody.

Raise my frequency to your frequency.
Raise my Power to your Power.
Raise my ability to handle this Power.
Raise all my points of awareness to your points of awareness.
Raise my ability to handle all of these points of awareness.

Essence, raise my ability to forgive and forget to your ability to forgive and forget, instantly and permanently.

Essence, I forgive the positionalities of [state the name of the positionality experiencing loneliness, sorrow, confusion, fear or lack of any kind], in my past, my present and in my future for all eternity.

Essence please forgive, delete and permanently erase all of these positionalities and all of their points of awareness, memories, beliefs, blueprints, programs, vibrations and frequencies in my past, my present and in my future for all eternity.

It is done.
It is done.
It is done.

So be it.


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Whether you’re just starting or have been on a spiritual path for years, this practice is accessible to everyone. It’s an opportunity to let go of the old stories, embrace your true Essence, and step into the vastness of who you really are.

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Essence Life
Essence Life Podcast
I’m Lars Rain Gustafson, and I’m here to share a forgiveness practice my Essence taught me that will guide you in connecting to your own Essence for all of the answers you seek. It’s a practical approach to growing in your awareness and inner peace.